I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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