you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
