I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
So many bounce houses so little time
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
