Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Randomize
