Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
