my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize