Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
