I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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