Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
