how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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