but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
