Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Randomize
