Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
