have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
Randomize
