you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
