bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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