Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
