C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I murdered the dance floor call the cops
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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