M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
