Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
