PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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