You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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