My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
