After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Farmville is her only friend.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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