3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
