I only kidnapped one of them. chill
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I take back everything I said about communal showers
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
