so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you would pick up someone in the library
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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