fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize