dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
So squirting runs in the family.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
