Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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