whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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