I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Randomize
