Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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