end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize