haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
