Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
