he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
