Whod you bang
Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize