I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
We just shotgunned beers for America
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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