Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
