look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
you had me at cake vodka
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Dick very happy bro
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
