Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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