So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
