between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
