Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
