i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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