The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
