I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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