Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Randomize
