Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
