we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
