You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
The power of my boobs compel you
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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