You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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