Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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