doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
We are two peas in an std pod
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Randomize
