Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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