sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
