Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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